A man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. After a couple of sips he looked up and saw a woman sitting at the end of the bar. He called the bartender over and said he'd like to buy the lady a drink. The bartender said, "Listen pal, let me save you some trouble. She's a lesbian."The man took a second, thought it over, shrugged his shoulders and said, "That's okay, I'd like to buy her a drink anyway."So the bartender brought the woman her drink. The woman lifted her glass and gave our hero a nod of thanks. Encouraged, he got up from his bar stool and sauntered over to the woman. As he was sitting down on the stool next to her, he asked, "So, which part of Lesbia are you from?"

Run Faster Posted by Yasmin Thursday, July 31, 2008 Nun 0 comments »
A nun ran back into the convent and in between panted breaths, she told the mother superior that she was accosted by a man in a dark alley."My dear child," the mother superior blurted out, "what did he do?""He dropped his trousers.""Oh no!" exclaimed the mother superior."Oh, yes," said the nun."Then what happened?" the old mother superior wanted to know. "Then I pulled up my skirt.""You didn't!" the mother superior was utterly shocked."I did just that," the nun said. Then she continued, "I figured I could run faster with my skirt up than he could with his trousers down.

World's Greatest Golfer Posted by Yasmin Wednesday, July 30, 2008 Genie, Golf, Priest 1 comments »
A golfer was playing a round of golf when he came across a bottle. When he touched the bottle a genie appeared and offered him one of two choices. He could either become the world's greatest golfer or the world's greatest lover. He picked to be the world's greatest golfer.The golfer went on to shoot a round in the low 50's. When he finished the genie asked, "It's really none of my business, but why did you pick golf over sex?"The golfer replied, "I do pretty well with the ladies, but I never was much of a golfer". The genie continued, "Well, just out of curiosity, how often do you have sex?" The golfer replied, "Oh, I guess once or twice a month".Somewhat surprised the genie said, "That doesn't sound like the world's greatest lover".The golfer replied, "Maybe not, but it's not bad for a priest in a small town".

Husband and Wife Letters Posted by Yasmin Monday, July 28, 2008 Couple, Husband, Wife 0 comments »
Here are two letters sent by both the Husband and then followed by the Wife on its reply, extremely witty, and definitely gets the message across ... read on.Husband writes this letter to his wife :Dear Sweetheart,I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses ...You are my sweetheart.Your husband,Alex.After a few days the Wife replies to the letter :Dearest Sweetheart,Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.1) The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.2) The Electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.3) Your house owner is coming everyday and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.4) Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items ...5) Other expenses 40 kisses.Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!Your Sweet Heart.

Wise Suggestion Posted by Yasmin Friday, July 25, 2008 Asylum, Cars, Patient 1 comments »
A man had a blown tyre next to an asylum. While changing the tyre, he noticed a patient leaning over the wall looking at what he was doing with keen interest. Before he could replace the wheel, he realised that all four screws had rolled down the slope, dropped into the drain and could not be retrieved.While pondering what to do, the patient suggested that he took out one screw from each of the other wheels to fix on the last wheel. In this way he would be able to drive to the nearest gas station to have his problems fixed.The man was naturally impressed and complimented the patient for his wise suggestion. The patient replied, "It's nothing, actually. You see, I may be mad, but I am not stupid!"

Free Trip To Europe Posted by Yasmin Thursday, July 24, 2008 Captain, Sailor 0 comments »
A young man was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying.He took pity on her and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose?That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and trip to Europe, and he's screwing me.""He sure is, lady," the Captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."